Several years back I used to live close to this park. I would go sometimes and run there. I don't really like running or sit-ups as a form of exercise as effective as they are at loosing weight and keeping fit. Running is rumored to be bad for your knees (so are a lot of things that people do-wacka wacka) and sit-ups just make me efen sick. I can't stand em and they make my tummy nauseous and make me mad.
While I was on one of my park runs, focusing on my breathing, one,two ,tree four. I noticed that I was running in step with an awesome specimen gifted at flight. It was a humming bird all jewel greens and hints of red. They fly by flapping their little wings so fast as to seem invisible. they can hover in place. They are amazing little fuckers when it comes to flight. I suddenly noticed it was no longer one, but several, it appeared like there were migrating, maybe or going hunting. I hoped it was the first. I looked around to see if anyone else was weirded out by this scene. I was alone as the sun came up. I freaked out for a sec. but somehow It just seemed natural to be running with the hummers. We did two full laps. We kept a steady pace. I was tired before I knew it, just like I always am. I dragged my ass to the grass, heaving and feeling like I was gonna die and it would happen starting in my lungs. I began to stretch my long dancer legs (my long hairy dancer legs, rather). Through, my heavy breathing and pulsing vision I recognized my jeweled companions as they reposed on nearby branches. I huffed and steadied my breathing finally saying: "hey". I didn't expect an answer mind you, I just thought I'd acknowledge this gang of sorts that had come to watch this healthy man get even healthier (me, that would be me, guys). They had been resting and hovering around each other all on a nearby tree, weird, as they are very territorial and don't "hang" much. They didn't do much. They just rested and once in a while jumped branches. Minutes later as I was stretching I called out and said "go away!", loudly. For fear something weird was about to happen, to them or me, and all at once they came upon me like they were going to fuck me up. They did not. They just sort of whizzed by me and my face, ears in particular as they make a loud buzzing whir sound. They seemed kind of determined and threatening almost. I just kind of covered my eyes now and again when they would dive bomb at me. They quickly made off, all but one. It remained on the end of the graffiti-ed bench. That was the fist one that followed me as I began my run. I again said "hey" acknowledging the odd situation. It did a weird little flutter and took off. I thought: I should do this more often.
Dudes!, now obviously I don't have powers to attract swarms of humming birds to me. If I did, though, I would sic them on people who have mean personalities or like to cut in lines because they don't have any patience. Like darts of sweetness, with a sting o' death, hitting their deserving targets. That is what I would do, for sure.