Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Helloooo there my little chiquitos of the night. I have been a bit occupado with trying to find a new job. I, like many other people I am guessing, need to seriously make more money. I need (ugh) a second job, or , preferable a better job, 'cause life life is hard for a pimp...er I mean I am tired of not having enough money. I am, thankfully, seeing my life slowly start moving in a new direction, and I am liking it. I just need to stay focused on staying on the same path while, still enjoying life and being the best version of me I can be.
On a different note, I am still getting rid of things, clothes, so far, and I am having these dreams where people from my past, have some interaction with me, and I swear they seem very vivid, and real.* It appears that I am resolving some issues with people from my past, or solving some issues I own, by way of people I know or used to know. I think these dreams show me, the patterns I keep, and, the value I place on needs and others' value of me. We all want to be loved, I suppose is the point I am reminding myself of, when I sleep. It's okay to want to be loved and needed, it is not a weakness; to want to be needed. I like it. We all do I suppose.
* The most recent dream I had was of walking home in a group, with friends. The walk home from a day of hanging out, spending a day together. This dream, focused on the feelings after a day, an event, and at the end of the night, walking together, joking, but making our way to our separate homes, our separate lives, our own families. Watching friends smiling faces disappear behind the darkness of closing screen doors, then the final wooden door. The group getting smaller and the growing loneliness until you see your best friend going in and disappear as he smiling and kind of waving, nodding, like young people do. These dream have the nostalgia and idealization that I seem to keep my old friends in. They remain in time frozen and unchanged. I can clearly see what the point is. I get it. I love dreams when they are so vivid-manwasIdrunk