Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Tuesday-NoHo

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IS LIFE A SAD DARK PLACE?

On a serious note my dear brochachos, I do believe the world is as good as you want it to be. It is not some bogus idea I've come up with in an attempt to sugar coat a damn thing.Yes life is what it is, but then once it's yours,  Life; is what you make it. Once you take control of your life, and if you work at it a little each day it becomes easier to be happy. Once you know what happiness feels like, true unadulterated happiness for the sake of happiness, you find it easy to maintain.

I say this because in the past, I've made my life a not so happy affair. Sadness darkness was around me and unacknowledged, people just went about their business and paid the sadness of the world no mind. I made it a point to  embrace that aspect of life, that was overlooked. I wanted to bring it to light and possibly fix it. I was sad for a long time. That is all I saw and, very important, all I really wanted to see. I wanted to prove that the world was a scary place that could hurt you. I wanted to prove that the world was awful, not the place you see on television, the vision you are supposed to be thankful for. I felt the world would take what it could from you and unless you were ready to bully your way into the table, make sure you never got what you wanted. Adults just disagreed. I was being lied to and it made me angry.  Every adult I met said no, that is not true, just apply yourself and the world is a great place, wait and see.It gave me a challenge to seek out. Being challenged was all I need to be set on a course that would prove me right and every adult that said: just apply yourself, you have so much potential, to be wrong. Now, I should point out that I didn't do it consciously, I just had accepted that mindset as the most real of goals. Why strive to succeed when all you'll be is successful in a mediocre world. I was mad and didn't know what to do about it.
    I spent many years being sad and angry and making my point that life is bad and it will harm you the first chance it gets if you're not vigilant by not striving for anything. I did it ladies and gents. I was able to prove to myself and other like-minded folk, that the world could be a sad little place with little to offer except selfish people that wanted nothing but to take care of number one and filled with big companies that wanted nothing but to take any shred of humanity and make a profit out of selling it back to us as a magic elixir to cure all our ailments. The phrase misery loves company comes from a place of truth.
    I was unhappy for a long time, because I didn't want to be happy. I honestly felt that the world belonged to someone else and someone else was in charge of the driving and I was just along for the ride. BTW, I didn't like the drive. I was a happy child, I recall, but I had forgotten what happy was and let myself be taken by the ugly currents of negative social trends.  

CONTINUED BELOW

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We made it through Monday without a hitch right? and we're ready for Tuesday, so go on and bring it. We still kicking butt. Getting it done. Ready?
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BTW our humanity is magic but you shouldn't need anyone else to tell you this or try to sell it back to you. Keep your humanity you crazy kids, it's what makes you, you.

             CONTINUED. IS LIFE REALLY A SAD AND DARK PLACE?
Ladies and gentlemenz it is all true:THE WORLD CAN BE A TERRIBLE PLACE and an empty box of cookies. It can be so much worse than that, actually. Ask anyone that has fallen into the grips of an addiction or a survivor of some inhumane abuse. To addicts, a pull so strong that their days are nothing but avoiding the absence of their object of obsession/addiction at any cost. They lie and cheat and steal and loose any thing that resembles a soul or life itself in hopes that at some point in the day they will be rewarded somehow, and it doesn't matter how, really, so long as it's presented to them: their fix. The following day is the more of the same if not worse, yes worse.   Life can be a living hell to poor children that have experience traumatic abuse. Many children are victims of such a darkness in the world, and many have not made it, and many will not make it to the end of the day. It paralyzed me for a long time. How can that be true and real. It is. And many survived the worst the world can offer and are living proof of such horrors, sorry doesn't begin to fix a thing, if you experienced it.
   So to anybody that wants to believe the world is not optimal for humans, YES. Nobody admits it. Nobody tells you that: But Y E S the world can be a terrible terrible place. Yes life can be worse and worse. And that is what I was mad at for years. I couldn't believe people just went about their days when life can be so terrible for some people.  Life can be awful and you can reason yourself into something you may not be able to get yourself out of too easily, if at all. If you are a thinker and don't have guidance in that department, whoa, life can spiral off its axis, in your head and eventually in real life.
     Having said that it seems almost unfair and a lie, to say that, at the same time life can be a miracle filled with happiness. But it is also true. Just like there is darkness, and evil and horrors, there is light and hope and life to be lived in peace. I know this also because I found it when I didn't want to be unhappy anymore. And eventually you get there. Again you don't so much acknowledge this choice as you've really got no where to go really with this doom, if you are truly honest with yourself Where do you go from here? I found I didn't know everything and that I needed help in getting happy, 'cause I didn't know how, anymore. It's very humbling to have to ask for help, but I wanted to get better, and I couldn't do alone, and as angry as I was to have to ask for help, I did just that.  I made up my mind and used all the effort I had previously used to prove darkness, sadness and blight were very real in life, to find happiness and forgive myself for letting me go down that dark road that no one should go down if they can at all avoid it. Truth is, I had to go down that road that led me to me today. To be able to talk about the availability of options for you and your view on life. I wasn't always so happy, not by a mile, I lost the desire to be happy and it was years before I was able to regain it again. I didn't really know I was unhappy, but my view of life and my life choices were undeniably self-destrctive and of an unhappy person. I seemed possessor of that need to put myself in harms way in an effort to prove that NO Life was not great, no there was no light at the end of the tunnel. When all the while there was a small fire inside me that wouldn't give up on me and my need to succeed at failure. That spark of life that lives on when you feel dead inside, and nothing seems to make life better. That is the times when life is just going from one event to the next. Even while you attempt various things and methods to try and distract yourself, it's ever-present;  the sadness that is there with you on any journey with dark desires or negative outlook. Even when we are not of service to others, we can't take cares of others if we cannot take care of ourselves. And that invites a negative cycle. I suggest you be careful of what it is that you decide to go after. But it was a conscious choice I made, the choice to not want to be happy or partake in the day to day processes that make this world go round and round. Seeking the existence of darkness just to prove a point, is well... my journey. Is a big undertaking and one I chose, without thinking about it twice. So yes it's true that the world can be dark, but I'm here to tell you that it can also be GOOD. I found that out when I had reached the bottom of my sadness. I wanted to be able to be happy again like I was when I was a child, and set about to achieve it. It's been years since I've embarked on my journey and there has been some set backs, but there has been some amazing breakthroughs, also.. When the world showed me that selfishness does exist in large amounts, and that it is natural in us. I decided that a great way to combat it is by being selfless. By sharing my experience and have it be yours, too. If it benefits you, great.
    I write this with a happiness in my heart that I wish I could convey to you, to prove that life is whatever you want it to be. It can be as dark as a damp cave in the middle of a forest, in the middle of the night. Or it can be the opposite, whatever you think the opposite is, whatever it is that you imagine the opposite of darkness to be. It can be that. Just allow yourself to be happy and forgive anybody that may keep you or tried to keep you from it, and let it go.
    Begin your life anew everyday and live it like it was the first day of the rest of your life. Model it the way you want it to be, don't worry about the specifics or the details, that falls into place sooner than later, but just try to imagine yourself being happy and what you look like when you are at happy and at peace with the world. If you can imagine it, then so it shall be. Are you ready?



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                                  Tomorrow is WEDNESDAY already!
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                                      UGLY?  / PRETTY?     prettyuglyprettyuglyprettyuglyprettyuglyprettyuglyprettyuglyprettyuglypretty


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