Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Happy Valentines Day!!!. To all THE SINGLE LADIEZ. why...yes, it is a week later.

Well Valentines day is gone. It came and went and I did not address it, as I didn't think I was someone to bring up that subject. Belonging to a singles website as I do (you know who you are, fellow members), and having the oddest of long term relationships I've sort of been involved in If you can call them that, Valentines Day has never genuinely resonated with me. I didn't feel like bringing it up, not because I don't have any ideas on it (are you kidding me). It was so raw.  I had to wait it out. I consider us to be pretty close now, you know for the internet and all. I hope you're over it now and we can talk about it without you leaving the room or rolling your eyes, and still be cool, are we...still cool?

Valentines Day can be so hard on some people that I wanted to give  some people a chance to recover and get some distance between them and the day of judgement from social norms. I consider us to be on good terms, and as such I hope you don't mind, and I'm not overstepping but...Now I've got a few words to say : YOU DIDN'T DIE. Now you thought you would, some of you hoped you would, but life doesn't work like that. Just because you wished you were dead (in theory I hope), or you wished the ground would swallow you whole, means that it happens. Those of you that are still alive: Congratulations!!!. You didn't die. Your still single. Now act like it, buddy. Save up enough to travel, alone, if no one else can go. Don't wait for somebody if you've always wanted to go to The Grand Canyon ( you really should see this thing). I'm sorry did I meddle? I'd give you a hug but some of you need a shaking, don't be mad...Now quit feeling sorry for yourself and get something done that will make you feel good about yourself. Be altruistic, do something for that one person who needs it. That old grumpy person down the street that needs help cleaning her yard and can't. Be selfish, buy yourself that expensive box o' chocolate you've been waiting someone to buy you. Or finally get to that project that's been needing attention for a while, It will make you feel good, then another, and another, and so on. Till you no longer have time to feel sad.Wear something flattering while you do these things, though,  you just never know who's paying attention.
    After years of going back and forth between acknowledging and denying it it's existence (sometimes in tears, beer in hand not helping at all. lol), I don't pay it much attention nowadays, like Groundhogs day. What do I know or care? Stupid groundhog. Just kidding, I love that fat gopher of love. Everyone know I love animals. I'd love one. I wish I could walk one around my block like any other dog on it walk, just scaring  the juice out of my neighborhood runway joggers. I could hear it now: "Oh my, your dog is fat"

  And no, it doesn't bother me to see people celebrating their love, I'd recommend it, encourage it, in fact, after years of seeing couples doing the opposite. As a single male, it just doesn't apply, like feminine freshness commercials, I don't know what that is. V-day, It seemed like it has evolved into shaming people out of single status. It shouldn't be though. And after years of pursuing just that, love, and finding it to be one of the hardest two persons tasks ever (and all the while not willing to settle), I just came to realize it's the sort of thing that is either there for you or not. That particular brand of love, because there is so many kinds: fraternal, maternal, friendship. You either have it or you don't. It's not debatable. You are single or not. It's not good or bad. Both have pluses and minuses. Which ever you are, embrace it! Celebrate it. Announce it if you're single, don't be embarrassed, how else are we supposed to know if we can chase that? Claim it. Which are you?
    But making a big deal about it on this particular day is so manufactured, it pains, what if you're in a relationship, and really feeling it  ( you know what I mean, right?-and yes it's durtty) but in August, you should wait a couple of months to celebrate your love? It doesn't exist only on Valentines day. And some "love" is not good, some love, it's not love at all, and sometimes it's downright terrifying even. But you either have it or don't. Historically, not every one does. And that's just the way it goes. Don't stop looking, if you like that, I do. I believe that it's just it just within reach at every turn. If it's supposed to happen, it will happen, and I will help it along by being friendly and announcing myself in a room. If it doesn't, well, that doesn't define you, or me. There is so much you are, already, to so many people you affect you don't even know, you can't possibly begin to know. Concentrate on what you are and what you hope to be, and not on what you aren't (the other half). Your role in life can be so big, and you may be forever single (and a whole, not just a half), with that one friend, everyone always wondered about, always at your side. Or a whole community or neighborhood forever grateful for your impact. Or the coolest uncle ever with ever grateful nieces and nephews. The coolest brother, sister, even Father or mother and be single. You can be the roaming searcher of love with a habit of wearing women's felt hats (you might) helping people all around the world and always looking for love and getting some, while saving lives, who knows? I don't. Unless you're psychic, neither should you. That could be you, forever. I know it sounds weird, but someone has to fill that role. Someone has to buy all the ugly women's felt hats being made around the world. In the mean time: Keep your heart open and buy yourself something nice if you really feel the need to have that void filled. I still buy myself giant heart shaped chocolates because I like them and that's when they're available (lately I wait 'till after V-day,  'cause they are on sale). I do things while I can. So eat up while you can. Maybe someday someone will tell you can't eat that,  'cause it's bad for you, and serve you something healthier made with love.


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