Fiona Apple - Love ridden
I have been a bit down these last couple of days. I watched the last SHAMELESS episode(US). The show is terribly good, and I miss it when it goes off the air at the end of each season. It is silly as a show, sad and cruel but very human. It shows people as you never see on television. In the end it's just entertainment. It is just a show and I know that.
I don't know if the work schedule is wearing on me (very possible). If my looking for a new job again so soon is wearing on me ( also possible). I don't know if everyone around me have begun taking a toll on me (sigh...also a possibility). I couldn't tell you, though for sure. I do not know. I have simply been down. It happens from time to time. I used to be down for long stretches before, and be completely unaware. It was just me and how I felt all the time. Thankfully, it happens less now then in the past, but it still happens, I guess. Don't get me wrong I still dance like no ones business and I enjoy life tremendously, but I have a little melancholy lingering on. I gravitate toward sad movies and even sadder songs. Depression as an illness is a very real condition, sadly, not everyone sees it that way. I am not in a bad condition, for sure. I am just down. So indulge some of my favorite sad songs and wait till I get the wind back in my sails, shortly I'm sure. I should note Shameless ended touching on depression as a malady known well to the clan. Here's to getting better every day. It does get better, btw, I can honestly tell you that even as down as I have been these past days, I am still so very grateful that I am aware that I am down, that I am gravitating toward sadness, instead of just floating numb and directionless in a haze of sadness. That I no longer feel that immersed in sadness is a blessing. I am aware of my sadness and I acknowledge it and recognize its presence even that it is fading more and more, with every appearance getting weaker. So...yea... it does get much better, life. Ain't it good to be alive? Even with a little sadness now and then, wouldn't trade it for nothing.
Mama Cass Eliot - Dream a little dream of me
Nina Simone - Wild Is The Wind - 03 What More Can I Say