Friday, March 13, 2015
And I sat there crying in the evening sun, for realz, though-Friday
So this happened yesterday in the evening, my chimichangos!!! #saddened to tears, but not sad.
I began crying today as I finished Ethan Mordens' Everybody Loves you. It has been a long time coming and I didn't know how to facilitate this or get out of its way, just recently, I mean everyday something makes me want to cry and I think I am too busy, or I am too busy or surrounded by bus riders. As I was finishing the last pages of his New York series from the 1980~s, and it started to get sad and I was feeling vulnerable again because of my actual life, like the usually cold protagonist/writer was doing, in his made up life, I could not stop tears from blurring my reading. I have been physically nauseous and sleep deprived for several months already, to attempt to make sense of it all. I just continued to read the to the happy ending. I have been too worried, too uptight, too poor, feeling too trapped recently to care what I looked like. As I sat at the park as the sun went down and made every color on every single leaf come to life, the warm wind blowing on such a beautiful day was too much. I hadn't been out taking in the season for several weeks. I was to much involved in the day to day that we all get involved in. Such is life. Racism coming from every angle, I already knew that we had been acting out as of late as a society, because of the economy, the times dictate it. I am okay just once in a while you gotta bust loose and it doesn't always mean a drinky poo, or a spliff or some sexyIndica binge. Sometimes it just means a letting go of emotional barricades. I did just that. I feel so much better and I am ready. How about you guys. Are you ready?
Whatever happened to loose llama CARNITAS and her sister GORDITAS?
Awrighty, So how goes it my little chimichimiCOCOA°pops? I have been having such a feast of ideas it has been craaay. Firstly however: I cannot begin to express how annoyed I am by these flippant and loud self-expressions from public individuals trying to be outrageous and shocking, by uttering nonsense and worse, racists remarks. Only to apologize after being exposed. These shockJOCK tactics employed by insecure individuals. These are tired ideas and thoughtless blurbs encouraged by the growing popularity of "realityTV" mentality and programing. This poorly written and base, money making style of television has infected our culture and brought us an urgency to make the social network circuit, and be the first to get a million hits or likes. It's this belief that we really need to get noticed or perish. Not true. Suggestion? Don't do it. You don't have to do it, just a suggestion. Let's change shit up a bit. Let's take control of our lives, our airwaves, and ultimately our lives, and what we get exposed to. Just change the channel, the webpage, the station, and problem solved. Let's ask for more than what we are being offered. Some new insipid and SHOCKING character spewing shit out their silly pieHole?- no thank you. I will watch old reruns of KCET (public broadcasting) programming. You don't believe in climate change? -Fine, then stay in the 1970's- but we will point you out during elections if you decide to run for anything...anything. we can all be quickly replaced and utterly forgettable. I want to watch or produce something better. You can put out a thoughtful and interesting point of view and ideas, but going back in time is not for most of us. > < Once more for those who didn't catch that: Traveling back in time is not an option. I'm just saying. Enough. MANWASIDRUNK.