IN YOUR MOUTH

Sofía: Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.-VANILLA SKY


Greatest deed Luke Skywalker ever did was take down the Death Star, right? As far as I'm concerned, that's what everybody needs. You need that one bad-ass thing that lets you live on forever, you know. FANBOYS


                                             NIBBLE ON THIS
    All right fellas, Today we are chefs. We’re gonna make you the stud muffin (or muffin top if you’re still wearing those girl jeans), of your circle of friends. And listen up ladies if you’re a little unsure of your skills, to include cooking skills, we’ve got the answer.
        Okay guys I know you’re used to treating the kitchen like the place to drop off the frozen burritos that are always on sale at the super box mart that displaced those shops that used to occupy the now ghost mini-mall that was fugly to begin with (phew). This is the day your kitchen becomes the well lit stage to publicly show off your awesomeness.That thing that has always been waiting to come out of you and shine like an alien busting outta your abdomen covered in secuince and glitter. We will construct delicious! We will show everybody that said you were not very good in this room, people who asked “have you ever cooked?“  or everybody that just said “get out“, that you are king! Not just in the bedroom (wink wink). This is the underwear dropping trick you were looking for. Plop this treat in front of someone, anyone, and watch the mood change from ’no’ to ’go…’ All you will need are these three ingredients have you got a pencil?
     You will need :
A- a cake of some kind (pre-made is perfectly acceptable, who can tell right?).I like pies, and that’s okay.
B-colorful sweets of some kind, they can be skittles or M&Ms,  gumballs. Just remember sweet and with color.
C- a paper towel, for presentation.

       Are you ready for success?    YES!        (The answer to that should always be yes. Even if you don’t feel it, fake it ‘till you make it, as they say). Let’s do this.

delicious

Take your cake that is serving as the base of this sweet sweet snack.
Place it on the napkin that will serve as an accent. It’s gonna make it pop, just wait.
Put all of this on a plate or you can just serve it up on the napkin,  if you’ve got no plates.

BETTER

Now this next and final step you should take a little extra time with as it is what makes this whole thing come together. Carefully place the colored sweets directly on top of cake. Just place ‘em on, ever so delicately, as the trophy that they are. If you’re really feeling cocky try coordinating the colored candy with the season (orange for fall or Halloween, Pink for Valentines day, Green for hairy man bumps day, etc.) Above you’ll see the finished product. Don’t be shy and accept any and all compliments handed to you. This is a good time to begin to learn how to not be embarrassed by being above average. You need to learn to appreciate yourself and try to top yourself. Just remember: you’re doing it to see the smiles on their faces, it’s really all for them.  Till next time. Good Chomping !

here's some more Doug Stanhope. I paid money for this one, it's a cd/dvd. If you like his stuff go to his site and buy his stuff. If you get a chance to see him go right ahead. And if your offended ...lighten up. It's just life.

Sofía: [in Spanish] Open your eyes.