Challenges takenI was talking to a friend and it was mentioned that "They wished they could leave their responsibilities as they were a bit tired and fed up" I felt a weird connection as I had thought the exact same thing in a moment of ire and hopelessness just days before (as I watched my closet literally collapse and send many of my wigs and costumes a tumblin' down, just got closer to finally organizing my bedroom- le sigh!- just kidding I don't own any costumes or wigs, at least none that I keep out of my bolted safe but next to my extra wide hip jeans- LOL). I was however, reminded that I had asked to be challenged, not so long ago. As I felt I had reached a plateau in my life and I was ready to move up to the the big leagues, the next level and have more things on my plate including possibly a relationship? but definitely more outlets and forms of expressing myself and getting across to people. Of becoming bonafide if you will. I wanted to be able to handle more as I felt I had grown accustomed to the life I was living and I wanted to live life bigger and louder. I just needed to be challenged more. I had completely forgotten this desire I had just at the end of last year, because immediately following these thoughts, like a tidal wave my life was tossed about from every direction, sometimes changing from one moment to the next. When my friend said those words however I recalled that will to be challenged that I had sent out to make myself a better version of myself. It was here. I had asked and I was receiving.
Make no mistake I am not happy, comfortable, 'in my element' or engulfed in the warm and fuzzies. Not by a long shot, I do feel like everyday I am learning something, and some days I feel I am re-learning a lesson that I cannot fully grasp. Some things that I had forgotten and need to re-learn or refocus on
Everday and sometimes several times a day:
I am not super-human.
I am not better than.
That we are all so similar no matter how different things may look.
It's all one day at a time, minute by minute, take it easy no matter how quickly things seem to advance. It's still just life and the important things don't change. manwasIdrunk
LISTENING TO GRIZZLY BEAR