Thursday, September 22, 2011

get some rest REM

      My roommate just told me REM broke up. I never got to see them, they were always too big to go see, I just can't see a band in a stadium. unless it's a big band like Queen or E.L.O.
      What an amazing career these guys have had. From being the alternative little fish, contemporaries to the Replacements and the Violent Femmes, to being the standard all other rock bands are measured against for artistic integrity, longevity and most importantly the music. What sweet sweet music. Not all the songs were Aces (shiny happy people, superman), But who cares when you've got albums and albums of beauty and mystery, yes mystery. There are some mumbled lyrics for sure.

Many have heard the hits, but have you heard the whole album: Automatic for the people?  songs like night swimming and New Orleans instrumental no. 1 and * me kitten. Such sadness and beauty.

Have you ever heard Murmur? I don't wanna say you should, 'cause you should have already. If you are in fact tired of what's being offered to you musically, then ...yes you should, sometime soon and remember it was done in 1983.

 I won't say R.I.P., REM, because you can't keep a band this creative from creating. I will say get some rest and we'll see you soon.

Friday, September 16, 2011

This beer tastes different now.

One of the most exciting times I ever had was when I traveled alone to visit relatives in a different state. My whole life I’d somehow felt lost. I had always felt I needed something else, and I was angry because I couldn’t imagine or put into words what that was clearly, or freely. Given this one time opportunity, though, I ran with it. I planned and planned again, after that I made sure my plans were right. It was a dangerous game I now know, but it was lifesaving at the time. So much was at stake I thought, no one could find out. I was terrified and excited all in the same breath. The time came and finally I was able to leave one day early, and arrive before I was expected. That meant I had one night to myself. One night to do anything I could fit in my young imagination, as a single male in a new city with everything to experience.  I was a young 21. As opposed to the older 21. I had never traveled alone This was it. I could pee myself (not on purpose, just to be clear).
        I had the general idea of what I would do, in this new city, but nothing specific. I had lined up a couple of hotels and motels that I could afford, and all were near a couple of bars, some gay, some not. After that, all was up in the air. I had never experienced such freedom, such defiant and emboldening freedom as I did that night (nor have I needed to, thankfully). Almost in slow motion, I stood in the cold, hearing the gravel underneath my boots, outside of the the first nondescript bar before stepping inside. I remember walking on a cloud of cigarette smoke. I brushed closely up against several men. It was close enough to smell them wearing different scents, some artificial and very sharp others more pleasant. For sure all were very warm compared to the winds in the cold night outside, as I walked past them to the bar, and I ordered my beer. I caught a glimpse of myself illuminated by the blue neon in the mirror behind the bartender. I  didn’t recognize my face.When it registered, I almost winked at myself. Now a couple of years later, I understand I just planned to go get a couple of beers and head to sleep alone for sure, but, things could change and I was slowly becoming fine with that, finally. It would take a couple of years before I could do all this outside a bar in the daylight instead of neon lights, and without a beer, sad for sure, but a path I had to walk through. Now I see me reflected somewhere and it registers who it is, I do wink at myself sometimes, you know, sorta like an acknowledgement to the younger me we did good.It makes me quietly laugh. I like life, it was a little bit of hard work but we did it. It did change me to feel that much freedom available to me, though. I didn’t know that much world was available, as odd as that sounds.  I imagine it’s akin to when people go paragliding or jump from a plane for the first time, with a parachute of course.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

A little about me.

A little about me. I like long walks in short pants. Movie dates that start out with brushing hands and touching knees and end where someone gets their integrity compromised or at least groped. Not on the first date of course.
I’m an able and avid escalator rider. An armchair therapist and a lover of frozen yogurt.  Menchies.

One of the sexiest times with my clothes on had me being invited to dance to a new wave song by a straight drunk guy who insisted I dance with him to this song. He held me by shoulder and was so drunk we were joined at the waists, totally out of sync with the song (we had a rhythm of our own going, wink, wink) and an intense stare that lasted the whole song through. Everybody was too drunk to notice and I was too young to push for some follow through, so… whenever I hear the one song I um…
 and no it's not mambo no. 5
Briefs or boxers? Tell us your favorite to wear or admire.

Friday, September 9, 2011

little bit of sun finally.

like a fly on the wall. On the paris subway.  (okay , okay it's the LA redline)

Getting some!   (sun that is)